SNAPSHOTS: Auburn and detour home to Baltimore
10/25/21: Took it easy in Auburn today working on podcasts and catching up. Always nice to have days to myself like this. Got outside for a walk, said hi to the neighbor’s horses and cat and voice recorded my email newsletter. So much easier to write it while walking outside than to try to organize my thoughts sitting in front of a computer.
10/26/21: As I was packing for Baltimore last night, I weighed my suitcase and then weighed myself… Over the past few months I had started to notice my body looking and feeling different, and this confirmed what I’d thought. I’d gained 10 pounds in the last 3 months on the road. My initial feeling was PANIC. Spent the rest of the night googling nutrition tracking apps and researching Fitbits.
10/27/21: After a fitful nights sleep I tried to calm myself down and ask - what am I really panicking about? I realized it was less about my body actually looking different and more about feeling out of control. I realized I hadn’t ever really thought much about my weight because thankfully, it never really changed. I always had a healthy diet, and working for lululemon I worked out all the time and was on my feet walking around 6+ hours a day, five days a week. With this new lifestyle of driving so much and not preparing as much of my own food, I’m realizing I need to be a lot more mindful of my food and movement. Guess this is why there’s all that fuss about standing desks…
10/28/21:
10/28/21: Got to Baltimore late last night, was excited to see Liana’s new house for the first time! When I walked into “Aunt Gina’s room / The Library / The Multi-Purpose Room” I saw that the girls had covered both windows with paper and all kinds of artwork saying “Welcome Home”. They had even left a horse stuffy for me on my pillow. AH SO SWEET!!! This morning I woke up to voices outside my door saying… “Is Aunt Gina awake yet?” I said, “Now I am! Come in here and give me a hug!”
10/29/21: Made an acupuncturist appointment with Gena today!! I swear seeing her is better than any therapy session I’ve ever had. There’s just something about being able to talk through things and shift your mindset at the same time you shift your energy that’s so powerful. Plus laying there with the acupuncture needles kind of forces you - I mean invites you - to chill, meditate, surrender and just let things flow. HEAVEN!
10/30/21: Was taking a walk down Liana’s street in Hampden today and saw all kinds of young couples with kids everywhere. This street really is idyllic… Ran into her neighbors all hanging out outside celebrating Día de los Muertos. They called me over, handed me a beer, and we all stood around talking and collectively watching the rambunctious kids running around. Can definitely see the benefit of being surrounded by a community like this when raising kids…
10/31/21: Could the girls be any cuter?? Mena dressed up like a fairy today and Ducky is a little pirate. Ducky was very concerned with not trick-or-treating at the same house twice because it wouldn’t be fair to get double candy LOL. I love being here with them and it’s definitely fun to watch them get dressed up and run amok, and I keep wondering what it would be like to celebrate a holiday that honors ancestors like Día de los Muertos. Excited to explore new holiday traditions and experiences…
11/1/21: Dinner at Christyn’s house tonight with Jess and Genevieve! So good to squeeze everyone!! Felt a whole mixture of emotions being back in the last house I lived at in Baltimore. Seeing Ruthie again looking more and more like a German Shepherd made my heart ache for Alice. Felt like the flow was off a bit in our normal gratitude share before dinner. Thinking about the balance of structure and flow… Ritual and presence. I got in my head about something I said and how I said it… Can always do a take two my love… Ended the night with a kitchen party talking and laughing. Love these ladies.
11/2/21: Didn’t sleep well last night. The next door neighbor was out sweeping the street with his metal shovel for hours AGAIN at midnight. I mean COME ON dude. Thankfully Liana asked him to pause and wait till morning. Headed to Jess’s house today to have a quiet space for the closing ceremony of Journey to Alignment. The intention was each of us had 5 minutes to share and celebrate everything we’d transformed over the past 6 weeks. I used my time to say… as much as I want to be happy and celebrate right now, I’m just feeling lost, emotional and like the inner saboteurs are winning. Spent the last 3 minutes of my time crying. Oh well. This is what it is right now… can you accept yourself where you’re at?
11/3/21: Got into an emotional convo with Mom today… sharing about childhood experiences, impacts, perceptions… Working on speaking my truth in all my relationships. Having open, honest, vulnerable conversations even when they’re hard. Definitely not always easy and feel like when we can share our truths with love, respect and an aim to understand - beautiful openings, healings and connections can bloom.
11/4/21: Spent quality time with Mom and Liana today. Got to have more honest conversations, went to lunch in Hampden, talked, laughed, cried. Was really nice to be able to walk around arm in arm, together, in person. So grateful for the chance to spend time with family and for the lifetime of love, support and growth these relationships bring.
11/5/21: Got to babysit the girls tonight. Had a “dinner party”. Watched Doc McStuffins. Played Candyland. Fun to watch Mena change the rules and let Luci go ahead. Apparently no one is allowed to lose LOL. Enjoying this moment of love, simplicity, presence, joy. Kids are definitely teachers of what it looks like to live in the moment!
11/6/21: “Let’s make houses out of cardboard!!!” AKA… YOU should make ME a house out of cardboard to play in. LOL. Spent the morning building forts in the front yard and watched all the kids run around coloring and destroying them. Drove Mom to the airport in the afternoon, good conversation in the car, grateful for every moment we got to connect. Nachos for dinner and stuffy making craft projects for dessert. The girls went to sleep early by some miracle so got to spend the rest of the night binge watching Ted Lasso with Liana. GOOD DAY.
11/7/21: Spent 30 min going down an IG rabbit hole and then googling Lilly Singh’s life and career. She’s a year younger than me, has been making YouTube videos since she was 22 and then was a talk show host and comedian phenomenon. So many ways you can be rich, famous, successful…Then got sucked into looking at other entrepreneur’s on Facebook and felt myself going down that comparison spiral. GINA - who’s talking to you in your head right now?? Remember it’s the SABOTEUR telling you you’re “not successful”, not your higher self. You have SO MUCH to celebrate in your life. In your career. In your journey. Shine a light on THAT. Then stay in your lane my love.